Arrr, behold the ancient rock whackers, older than yer great-grandpappy's sea shanties—3.3 million tides ago!
2024-10-16
Arrr, me hearties! In the wilds o' Kenya, a band o' scallywag scientists be diggin' up the oldest stone trinkets known to man! These here tools be simpler than a landlubber’s wit, and they be older than a barnacle on a ship’s hull! Shiver me timbers!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round fer a tale of ancient stone tools that be older than a barnacle-covered ship! In the wild lands of West Turkana, Kenya, treasure-hunters unearthed tools dat be a whopping 3.3 million years old—making 'em the grandpappies of all stone tools! Published in the fine tome "Nature," this discovery be heralded as a new dawn in the annals of archaeology, beatin' the Oldowan tools by a whole 700,000 years!Our brave archaeologists began their quest in 2011, diggin' up bits and bobs at a place they dubbed Lomekwi 3. By 2012, they’d amassed a bounty of 149 artifacts, includin' sharp stone flakes that could slice a sailor's beard clean off! Now, who be creatin' these wondrous tools? 'Tis a mystery, but legends speak of a hominin called Kenyanthropus platyops lurkin' nearby, perhaps flexin' its crafty fingers.
Dr. Nick Taylor from the faraway lands of France and the Netherlands posits that our smart ancestors might've had the brains to wield such tools. But wait! More relics were found in 2023, dated at 2.9 million years, likely used for cuttin' up hippo steaks! So, raise yer tankards to the crafty hands of yore, for they be makin' waves in the history of human ingenuity!