The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Sen Cotton be claimin’ Biden-Harris be stirrin' the pot, helpin' scallywags while honest sailors pay the price!

2024-10-16

Arrr, in the midst o' Israel’s grand scuffle with foes on seven seas, that scallywag Sen. Tom Cotton from Arkansas be claimin' U.S. treasure meant for the needy might’ve found its way to the hands o' the baddest buccaneers! A fine mess, I tell ye!

Ahoy there, mateys! Gather 'round as I regale ye with the tale of one brave landlubber, Senator Tom Cotton o' Arkansas, who be raisin' alarm bells 'bout a treasure o' a billion doubloons from American taxpayers that may have been plundered by them scallywags o' Hamas!

Just weeks after the dastardly Hamas crew did away with a young American-Israeli lad, Cotton took quill in hand and penned a letter to the chief of USAID, claimin' that the notorious UNRWA be linked to them treacherous pirates. "No more of our shiny coins should line their pockets!" he proclaimed with fiery passion. Aye, he called for the stoppage of all aid to Gaza, lest we find our gold goin' to those who'd stab us in the back!

As the sea churned with accusations, the UNRWA's captain, William Deere, dismissed Cotton’s claims as a collection o' mismatched tales. Yet Cotton countered, raisin' concerns 'bout the risk of our funds bein' diverted to aid the enemy. With whispers of Hamas infiltratin' the ranks of UNRWA, tensions be high, and the winds of change may soon blow through Congress. Will they cast away the ties with this agency? Only time will tell, savvy?

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