The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! The FBI be swappin' tales, sayin' crime be risin', not fallin', like a ship in a stormy sea!

2024-10-16

Arrr, matey! It be said that ol' Captain Trump be spoutin' tales o' crime droppin' like anchor, but the scallywags at the FBI be slippin' in new figures! Turns out, crimes be risin' like the tide! A fine jest, indeed! Avast, me hearties, keep yer cutlasses ready!

Arrr mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout that scallywag, former President Donald Trump! Aye, he be sailin' the campaign seas, tossin' about tall tales like a drunken sailor, claimin' that violent crime be droppin' faster than a ship's anchor in a storm!

But lo and behold! The fine folk at the FBI be playin' a game of numbers, quietly adjustin' their figures for the year 2022, like a sly fox in a henhouse! First reported by the clever chums at RealClearInvestigations, it turns out the ruckus of violence be risin' like the tide, rather than settlin' like a calm sea.

The new statistics show that the raw count of violent crimes be tickin' up all around this fair land! Aye, those scallywags thought they could pull the wool over our eye-patches, but the truth be slippin' through like a fish from a net! So, as we navigate these treacherous waters of politics, let us remember: not all treasure be silver and gold, and sometimes the truth be buried deeper than a shipwreck on the ocean floor!

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