The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Jim Harbaugh be sayin' the doc claims he’s got the heart of a spry sea dog after a fright!

2024-10-17

Arrr, matey! Coach Jim Harbaugh be sayin' his sawbones claim he’s got the heart of a swashbucklin' athlete! After a fright during the last skirmish, he be feelin' mightily brave, as if he could take on a kraken with naught but a rusty cutlass! Yarrr!

Ahoy there, ye landlubbers! Gather ‘round as I regale ye with the tale of Captain Jim Harbaugh, the headmaster o’ the Los Angeles Chargers. Last week, during a grand clash with the Denver Broncos, this hearty sea dog found himself in a bit o’ a pickle when his ticker started doin’ the jig! Aye, ‘twas an arrhythmia, which be fancy speak for a heartbeat gone rogue!

Fear not, for the captain be in good spirits! He reported that the wise old cardiologist proclaimed he had "the heart of an athlete." Aye, 'tis a compliment fit for a salty sea captain! Jim quipped that his heart be strong as a bull and with a stamina that would put even the fiercest pirate to shame. He’s wearin’ a heart monitor now, lest his heart decide to dance again on its own accord!

This be not Jim’s first tussle with the heart troubles, mind ye; he’s had some ablations in the past, small burns to keep his heart in line. With a record of 3-2 this season, his crew be set to take on the Arizona Cardinals next. So hoist the sails and wish our captain smooth sailin’—for a heart that beats steady be the true treasure of the sea!

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