"Arrr, matey! The FBI be swappin' tales on violent deeds, quieter than a cat o' nine tails!"
2024-10-17
Avast ye! When the FBI first hoisted the sails of their crime tally in September 2023, they be sayin’ violent deeds dropped by 2.1%. But lo! They’ve now changed course, revealin’ a 4.5% rise in villainy—more murders and mischief than a pirate’s tavern! Yo ho, what a twist!
Ahoy there, mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn ‘bout the FBI’s grand tale of crime, full o' twists ‘n turns like a treacherous sea! When the scallywags at the Bureau first dropped their “final” figures for the year of our lord 2022 in the fateful month o' September 2023, they declared that violent crime had dipped by a mere 2.1%. Aye, ye can bet yer doubloons the Democrats hoisted that banner high to counter the boisterous claims of that raucous rogue, Donald Trump, who be shoutin’ about crime like a parrot on a shoulder!But lo and behold, the plot thickens! Like a fog rollin' in from Davy Jones' locker, the FBI slyly revised their tallies, revealin’ that the tide had indeed turned. The real treasure buried deep in the data shows a nefarious increase of 4.5% in violent crimes, with a treasure trove of murders, rapes, robberies, and good ol’ aggravated assaults makin’ their unwelcome return!
So, me hearties, keep yer wits about ye! If ye trust the numbers from the Bureau, ye might just find yerself walkin' the plank into a sea of confusion, where the only thing that be certain is that the crime tide be risin' faster than a ship’s sails in a storm!