The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, matey! The Bureau's scribes be claimin’ violence’s up like a ship in a storm under Biden-Harris! Shiver me timbers!

2024-10-17

Arrr, matey! The Feds be swabbin' the deck o' their crime scrolls, claimin' a rise in ruckus, when just last year they sang a different tune! The media be fetchin' what be fit fer the Democrats, even when their treasure map of data leads 'em astray! Avast, what a jolly jest!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round and lend yer ears to a tale of woe from the landlubbers in the Federal Bureau of Investigation, who’ve been sailin’ the treacherous seas of statistics! It seems they’ve hoisted their sails and updated their 2022 crime scrolls, claimin’ a rise in violent mischief despite the earlier shanties singin’ praises of a decline. Aye, they once reveled in the notion that the Biden-Harris crew had steered the ship of crime to calmer waters, but lo and behold, the winds did shift!

Now, the scallywags in the media, those crafty sea serpents, did choose to trumpet the numbers that painted the Democrats in a fair light! But when word came from the very source of those figures that the data be as fishy as a barnacle-covered ship, they turned a blind eye and a deaf ear. Why, it be as if they be strappin’ a parrot to the mast and lettin’ it squawk whatever it pleases, regardless of the truth! So, hold tight to yer rum, me mateys, for the seas of politics be choppy, and the only treasure to be found is the humor in watchin’ these buccaneers try to navigate their own follies!

Read the Original Article