The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, the Pentagon be spillin' the beans on whether sky beasties be havin’ a jolly ol’ time on our shores!

2024-10-17

Arrr, matey! The fine folk at the Pentagon were quizzed 'bout them space critters and flying contraptions. The spokesman, with a wink, said, "The truth be sailin' out yonder," but then added, "Naught but a pile o' barnacles for proof!" A right merry jest, I say!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather ‘round as I spin ye a tale of the landlubbers at the Pentagon, who’ve recently laid claim to a grand mystery of the cosmos: UFOs and aliens! With a swagger befitting a true sea captain, Maj. Gen. Pat Ryder declared, “Nay, there be no evidence that scallywags from outer space have ever set their foot on our fine Earth!”

During a hullabaloo of questions, where topics ran from explosive affairs in Yemen to North Korean mischief in Ukraine, one brave soul, Jeff Schogol, took a bold swing and asked about our celestial neighbors. “In this news storm, ye could announce anything about aliens, and no one would care!” he jested, to which Ryder answered with a serious shake of the head.

The U.S. government, with its shiny new All-domain Anomaly Resolution Office (AARO), has been on the lookout for strange happenings in the sky. But alas, after a thorough search of the briny depths, they found naught but tales of mistaken military shenanigans and a sprinkle of public mistrust!

So, there ye have it, buccaneers! The truth, it seems, is as slippery as an eel in a barrel, and the only aliens we’ve got are those wild stories spun by sailors after too much grog! Yarrr!

Read the Original Article