The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Antonio Brown be spoutin’ that 'Tampon Tim' Walz ain't no true captain of the gridiron, savvy?

2024-10-19

Arrr, me hearties! Former gridiron swashbuckler Antonio Brown took to the stage in Pennsylvania, swingin' his tongue like a cutlass! He jabbered on for Trump, pokin' fun at Kamala and Walz like they be barnacles on a ship! A right jolly spectacle, that! Avast, what a ruckus!

Avast ye scallywags! Gather ‘round as I spin ye a yarn of the brash Antonio Brown, once a star in the NFL seas, now a hearty supporter of Captain Trump! On a fine Saturday in Pennsylvania, the swashbucklin’ Brown, once of the Pittsburgh Steelers' crew, took to the stage to rally the faithful, jestin’ like a true pirate as he mocked the likes of Kamala Harris and Tim Walz.

“Did ye know,” he roared, “that those landlubbers want to toss tampons in the boys’ loo? Insanity, I say!” With a hearty laugh, he dubbed Walz “Tampon Tim,” claimin’ the former coach couldn’t guard him even if he had a treasure map! Brought along was his matey, Le’Veon Bell, sportin’ Trump colors, whilst Brown praised the captain’s business savvy and ties to the musical seas.

Despite his storms of controversy, with arrests and a shipwrecked NFL career, Brown now sails the voter-registration seas, rallyin’ his fans to cast their lot for Trump. This scallywag be on a mission to make waves in the land of swing states, flirtin’ with fame and mischief alike! Now, let’s hoist the sails and see if this buccaneer can make a difference on the high seas of politics!

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