Arrr, the winds be howlin’! Georgia’s scroll keeper be feelin’ the heat to show us landlubbers what’s in that audit chest!
2024-10-21
Arrr! Captain Raffensperger, the keeper o' Georgia's voter treasure, be settin' sail to audit for landlubbers in July, yet the booty o' results be still hidin' in Davy Jones' locker! Aye, where be the loot, ye scallywags?
Avast ye landlubbers! In the fair land of Georgia, a band of hearty folk be pressin' the state’s Secretary of State, one Brad Raffensperger, to unveil the fruits of a voter roll audit he proclaimed over the summer seas. Yarr, former Sen. Kelly Loeffler, now captain of the crew known as Greater Georgia, be claimin' that hoards of illegal scallywags have swarmed the shores since 2021, and many have slipped past the nets to register for votes in multiple states!With the winds of early voting a-blowin', these good folk be anxious to ensure no non-citizen buccaneers be castin' their ballots in their elections. Raffensperger announced that a "SAVE audit" be in the works, meant to keep the elections shipshape and Bristol fashion. He even warned of dire consequences for any rogue pirates tryin’ to vote without proof of bein' a U.S. citizen, threatenin' them with prison sentences and hefty fines!
But lo and behold! Though Raffensperger boasted the audit was complete and promised that only American citizens be voting, Loeffler be callin' him out to release the results posthaste, demandin' transparency. As the early voting winds continue to howl through Georgia until Nov. 1, the good folks be hopin' for some peace of mind as they prepare to cast their lots! Arrr!