Arrr! GOP be thwarted in their scallywag schemes ‘gainst foreign votein' in two fierce ports o’ battle!
2024-10-22
Arrr, in them wild lands of battlegrounds, the judges be laughin’ heartily at the GOP scallywags tryin’ to stir the pot ‘bout overseas vote shenanigans! Their fanciful claims be tossed overboard like a rotten fish! Aye, the election sails on smooth, matey!
Ahoy there, me hearties! It be a tempestuous day for the scallywags of the Republican ship in two battleground ports, Michigan and North Carolina, where judges be sendin' 'em to Davy Jones' locker with their schemes to shanghai the overseas vote! These legal buccaneers tried to toss the sailors and their families overboard, claimin' the current laws be too lax, but the wise judges scolded 'em for their dastardly plot, callin' it an "attempt to disenfranchise"! Arrr!The court in Michigan be likin’ the law that lets spouses and dependents of our brave sea dogs vote, even if they’ve never set foot on the shores of that fair state. Judge Sima Patel laughed at their timing, sayin' it be a right nuisance so close to election day, and told 'em to walk the plank with their complaints. The North Carolina court followed suit, dismissin' the GOP’s claims, sayin' they’d presented naught but hot air and failed to show any harm to the shipmates abroad!
With over a million ballots cast from the high seas in the last election, these brave souls be a mighty force in the upcoming battle! The Democrats be raisin' the alarm, claimin' these last-minute legal maneuvers be designed to sink the votes of their loyal crew. Aye, it be a right ruckus on the horizon!