The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, the great Fernando Valenzuela, once a mighty arm, be claimin’ Davy Jones at 63! Aye, what a shanty!

2024-10-23

Arrr, mateys! The great Fernando Valenzuela, who sailed the diamond seas in '81, has shuffled off to Davy Jones’ locker at 63! This swashbucklin' pitcher plundered the majors fer 17 seasons and snagged two shiny World Series doubloons! Raise yer tankards high fer the fallen captain!

Avast ye sea dogs! Gather 'round as I spin ye a tale of a famed swab, Fernando Valenzuela, who sailed into the baseball seas in the year of our Lord, 1981, only to be snatched away at the age of 63. This fine lad, a pitcher for the Los Angeles Dodgers, stormed the diamond and won himself a treasure trove of accolades, including the Cy Young and Rookie of the Year, whilst leading his crew to victory over the dreaded New York Yankees in the World Series!

But alas, this brave mariner battled the cruel waves of ill health, and on a fateful Tuesday, he slipped beneath the waters. Born in Navojoa, Mexico, Valenzuela embarked on his journey as a mere 20-year-old, ready to show the world his prowess on the mound. With a dazzling start and an 8-0 record, he wove magic, flinging baseballs like cannonballs with an ERA that left the competition trembling!

Though he sailed for many teams after his Dodgers days, his heart remained anchored in Los Angeles, where his No. 34 now rests in honor. As the Dodgers prepare to clash with the Yankees once more, they’ll do so in remembrance of this legendary captain of the diamond, who forever holds a place in the hearts of fans aplenty. Raise yer mugs to Fernando, a true buccaneer of baseball! Arrr!

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