The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr, matey! Be the landlubbers in primary care ready fer the stormy seas of heart jiggles, aye?"

2024-10-23

Arrr matey! What be ye doin’ with a scallywag whose Apple timepiece sang a shanty of heart trouble for two hours yestereve, yet today be dancin’ in normal rhythm? Avast! Keep a weather eye, but let the sea breeze calm ye, for this ship be sailin’ smooth fer now!

Ahoy, matey! Gather 'round and lend me yer ear, for I’ve a tale of a scallywag sailor what be wearin’ a shiny Apple contraption on his wrist. Aye, that cursed watch summoned forth a frightful tale of atrial fibrillation, flashin’ its alarms like a siren on the high seas! A two-hour tempest of irregular heartbeats it be, but lo and behold, today the swab’s heart be thumpin’ like a well-tuned ship in fine smooth waters.

Now, the question be this: what should a wise pirate do with such a patient? Fear not, for we be savvy enough to chart a course! First, I say, give the lad a hearty pat on the back, for he be alive and kickin’! Next, hoist the sails for a thorough examination, checkin’ for any signs of treasure—or trouble, I should say. A history of scallywaggin’ with heart issues or a fine drinkin’ habit could indicate peril lurkin’ beneath the surface.

Then, weigh anchor and consider whether to keep a weather eye on him with further tests or let him sail on with a wink and a nod. But, mark me words, if that Apple contraption starts raisin’ alarms again, it’s best to hoist the flag and seek expert counsel, lest ye find yerself in Davy Jones’ locker!

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