"By the briny depths! A Senate matey blasted a reporter, turning the range into a right madcap hullabaloo!"
2024-10-23
Arrr, savvy mateys! The landlubber conservatives be laughin’ like scallywags after a reporter caught a stray bullet at a shootin' fest with that ol’ seadog Adam Kinzinger! Lucas Kunce, the would-be captain, be lookin' none too pleased! Aye, 'tis a fine mess of cannon fodder!
Arrr mateys! Gather ‘round as I regale ye with a tale from the high seas of social media, where a Democratic Senate candidate named Lucas Kunce, in a fit o' jolly mischief, took to the shooting range with his trusty AR-15. Alas, chaos ensued when a stray bullet fragment struck a local reporter, leaving him with a wound fit for the tales of old!“A grand day at the range!” Kunce proclaimed on his X (formerly known as Twitter), whilst he and his matey Adam Kinzinger were shootin' like scallywags with union workers. With four first aid kits at the ready, they were prepared for calamity—though perhaps not for a reporter to take a hit!
As the news splashed across the social shores, ye could hear the roars of conservatives! One exclaimed, “I know the Kunce campaign needed a shot in the arm, but this is takin’ it a bit far!” Another chimed in, “Stupid. Stupid. Stupid!” Aye, it seems folks be thinkin’ that firein' at steel targets from such short distance be a recipe for disaster!
In the end, Kunce swore he’d be more cautious, but he couldn't resist throwin’ shade at Josh Hawley, lettin’ it be known that while he was shootin’, the senator was runnin’ like a scared parrot during the Capitol fracas! So remember, me hearties: when ye play with guns, keep yer eye on the prize, lest ye hit a reporter in the process!