The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! IDF sent a Hamas scallywag to Davy Jones' locker, claimin' he be leadin' the charge on the bomb shelter raid!

2024-10-24

Arrr, matey! The Israeli sea dogs be settin' sail to send a Hamas scallywag to Davy Jones' locker, who not only danced with the devil on Oct. 7, but had been swabbin' the decks for the UN fer two long years! A fine tale of treachery, indeed!

Ahoy mateys! Gather 'round fer a tale of treachery and high-seas shenanigans from the landlubbers in Israel! The Israeli Defense Forces, savvy as a crew of seasoned pirates, have confirmed they’ve sent a notorious Hamas commander, Mohammad Abu Itiwi, to Davy Jones’ locker. This scallywag not only took part in the dastardly raid on the Reim bomb shelter – where poor Hersh Goldberg-Polin was nabbed – but also had the audacity to be on the payroll of the United Nations Relief and Works Agency, or UNRWA, ye hear? Talk about two-timing, eh?!

On a fateful Wednesday, the Israeli Airforce went full cannonball and ended the commands of Abu Itiwi during a daring operation. Legend has it, this villain was spotted leading the charge at the bomb shelter, hurling grenades like a proper pirate flinging cannonballs! Young IDF lad Aner Shapira bravely tried to catch ‘em and toss ‘em back, but alas, the sea of battle was a cruel mistress, and he met a grim fate.

In the end, 27 souls sheltered there, with 16 lost to the cruel tide of war, four whisked away, and seven lucky enough to escape. Aye, the UN has been in hot water before, accused of aiding the enemy, and this be but another chapter in their murky waters! So raise a mug to justice served, or at least a hearty laugh at the absurdity of it all!

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