The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Charles be callin' Joel a scallywag fer sittin' out after fillin' his treasure chest! Har har har!

2024-10-25

Arrr! Charles Barkley, the swashbucklin' Hall o' Fame matey, be givin' Joel Embiid a right tongue-lashin' fer takin' a powder over his creaky knee after snaggin' a fat treasure o' a contract! Aye, it be fair to say, he’s more landlubber than sea dog!

Arrr, mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout the notorious Charles Barkley takin’ a mighty swing at the Philadelphia 76ers' prized treasure, Joel Embiid, on a fine Thursday night! The NBA be investigatin' the scallywag's participation in games, as he’s been nursing a bum knee like an old sea dog. Ol’ Daryl Morey, the captain of basketball operations, be tryin’ to keep Embiid and his mate, Paul George, off the plank during back-to-back battles.

The hullabaloo ’round Embiid has made waves, catchin’ Barkley’s sharp tongue during the TNT coverage. “What be the Sixers doin’?!” he bellowed. “The lad’s got a fortune of $193 million in gold doubloons to play a mere game, not haulin’ nets or mendin’ sails!” Barkley grumbled, sayin’ the lad should at least play a bit more, especially with the mightiest backup, Andre Drummond, at his side.

Now, Embiid be plagued by injuries like a cursed ship, but he did rally for Team USA at the Paris Olympics, bringin’ home the gold! So, let’s raise a tankard to the spirited sea of basketball, as we ponder how the winds be blowin’ for our dear Joel and his crew!

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