The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Can the great orange captain toss Jack Smith overboard if he claims the throne again? Aye, let’s ponder!

2024-10-25

Arrr, matey! Trump be tellin’ the radio captain, Hugh, that if he be claimin’ the crown, he’ll be tossin' special counsel Jack Smith overboard “in two shakes of a parrot’s tail!” That crafty Merrick be tryin' to keep the seas calm, but the winds be blowin' foul! Har har!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I regale ye with a tale from the treacherous seas of politics! It be said that the infamous Captain Donald Trump, whilst chattin' with the salty sea dog Hugh Hewitt, declared that if he were to hoist the Jolly Roger of the presidency, he’d be tossin' the pesky special counsel Jack Smith overboard “within two seconds” of settin' foot in his captain’s quarters!

This Jack Smith, appointed by the high-ranking admiral Merrick Garland, be a troublesome independent scalawag keepin' a watchful eye on Captain Trump’s many misadventures on the high seas of law. The good admiral thought it wise to steer clear of any appearances of conflict, lest it look as if the Justice Department were directin' the cannons at Trump’s ship directly. A clever ruse, I say!

Alas, the winds be blowin' favorably for Trump, as he vows to rid his ship of this meddlesome Smith faster than ye can say “shiver me timbers!” So, hoist the sails and prepare for a raucous voyage through the stormy waters of the political seas! The treasure of power awaits, and it seems Captain Trump be ready to battle any scallywag who dares cross his path!

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