The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Cardinal Dolan be sayin', "Pray fer the Yankees, mateys! They be sailin' into stormy seas!"

2024-10-28

Arrr, me hearties! As the good Archbishop Dolan wrapped up his holy shindig at St. Pat's, he urged the scallywags to send up a prayer for the Yankees, ready to swashbuckle in Game 3 of the World Series on the morrow! May the winds be at their backs!

Avast ye landlubbers! The New York Yankees be settin' sail into Game 3 of the World Series, already adrift two games to none against the dastardly Los Angeles Dodgers! Monday night at Yankee Stadium be a critical juncture, or else they be walkin' the plank, savvy?

Now, some fervent fans be prayin' for a win in the Fall Classic, and by thunder, they might’ve been at St. Patrick’s Cathedral, gettin' their holy mojo on at the behest of Archbishop Timothy Cardinal Dolan. This scallywag closed his mass with a wink, celebratin' the Fest of St. Jude, the patron saint of impossible causes—an omen for sure, eh?

With a chuckle, Dolan urged parishioners to visit St. Jude’s shrine to light a candle for the Yankees, for the seas be lookin' stormy! “It’s not lookin’ too good,” he quipped, as the Dodgers had just bested the Yankees in Game 2, 4-2, after a heart-stoppin’ grand slam by Freddie Freeman.

And lo! Not just the Catholics be prayin'; Rabbi Joseph Potasnik from Boston, a Red Sox fan, offered a prayer of forgiveness for the Yankees’ past sins! With the Dodgers wishin' for a swift victory while anchored at Yankee Stadium, the fate of the Yankees hangs by a thread, mateys. The showdown be set for 8:08 p.m. on FOX. Fair winds to ye, Yankees!

Read the Original Article