Arrr, Arizona's election mates be readyin' fer chaos with their long-winded scrolls o' ballots, like readin' a treasure map!
2024-10-29
Arrr! The scallywags of Arizona be warnin’ us of a mighty long ballot, me hearties! With two pages o’ choices, ye might be sailin’ for hours at the polls! Maricopa’s scroll be 17 inches long—ye’d think it be a treasure map! Hoist the sails and prepare for delays!
Arrr mateys, gather 'round as I regale ye with a tale from the wild seas of Arizona’s election shores! The fine folk in charge of mindin' the ballots be soundin' a horn of warning, sayin' there be trouble on the horizon, aye! With a storm of voters comin' to cast their marks on them lengthy scrolls, delays be brewin' like a tempest at sea!Now, listen close, for the battleground state hath 15 counties, but in eight of 'em, the voters be wrestlin' with not one, but two pages of ballot! And let me tell ye, in Maricopa County, the ballot be stretchin' out longer than a pirate's tale—17 inches, savvy? With a whopping 79 contests to be fought, from local skirmishes to state and federal squabbles, it be a grand adventure to choose yer favorite scallywags!
Not to mention the statewide propositions that be woven within this colossal parchment! So, prepare yerselves, ye landlubbers, for the great ballot battle ahead. Ensure ye bring a snack and a drink, for ye may be waitin' longer than a sailor’s yarn, all in the name of democracy! Fair winds and good luck in yer electoral voyages!