The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Martha Stewart be givin’ Netflix's 'Martha' a tongue-lashin' hotter than a cannonball in July!

2024-10-30

When a scallywag of a reporter did ring me bell 'bout me new tale, I let loose like a cannon: "Arrr, I be loathin' those last scenes! A curse upon 'em!" Aye, they be as welcome as a landlubber on me ship!

Arrr matey, gather 'round and lend me yer ear! A tale be told of a fair lass, a lifestyle star bright as a full moon on a clear night. One fateful day, a landlubber reporter be ringin’ her up about her latest spectacle, a documentary fit for the high seas. But lo and behold, this starlet, with the fire of a thousand cannons in her voice, did not mince words. “I hate those last scenes! I hate 'em!” she bellowed like a true sea captain spittin’ mad at a mutinous crew.

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