The Booty Report

"Arrr, matey! That three-point shot be the black spot upon basketball, claims a jolly old scribe!"

2024-10-30

Arrr, matey! Bob Ryan, once a scribe for that scallywag rag, The Boston Globe, be spoutin’ his disdain fer that cursed three-point line in the game of hoops! He shared his grumblin’ on OutKick’s "The Ricky Cobb Show." Aye, a fine jest indeed!

Arrr, me hearties! Gather 'round as we spin a yarn about the three-point line in the grand sport of basketball, aye. Not all souls be celebratin’ this wicked contraption, especially not the old sea dog Bob Ryan, a former scribe of The Boston Globe. He be claimin' the three-pointer be the scourge of the hardwood, a gimmick born from the cunning of Abe Sacks, the rascally promoter of the Harlem Globetrotters.

Now, Sacks tried to set sail with a league of his own in 1961, the American Basketball League, but alas, it sank faster than a ship with a hole in her hull! Yet, he bequeathed us the three-point shot, which made its way to the NBA like a treasure chest of trouble in the 1979-80 season. Chris Ford of the Celtics be the first to fire that fateful shot, but now the game be a tempest of long-range bombs!

Young scallywags across America be mimickin’ the legendary Steph Curry, who be the most influential player of this century. Yet, ol' Ryan be yearnin' for balance—a fair mix of two-pointers to threes, lest the game turn into a farce with naught but missed shots. He may not be able to change the winds of this game, but he still clings to the memories of how it once was, even if it be a rough sea ahead!

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