The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Trump and Harris be spoutin' their final yarns, like two scallywags at a tavern, tryin' to woo the crew!"

2024-11-01

Arrr, mateys! Vice President Harris took to the stage like a siren on the high seas, ‘fore a throng of 75,000 scallywags! She be spoutin’ her “final words” whilst takin’ jabs at that “petty tyrant” Trump, all in the same spot where he stirred up trouble. Aye, what a ruckus!

Arrr mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout Vice President Harris, who stood upon the grand Ellipse under the moonlight, addressin' a raucous crowd of near 75,000 scallywags! Aye, that be quite the gathering for what she called her “closing argument.” This be the very spot where the notorious Trump once rallied his crew on that fateful day, the sixth of January, in the year of our lord two-thousand and twenty-one.

For a good half hour, she laid forth her plans for the land, raisin' the sails high on policies that’d make even the fiercest buccaneer nod in approval. But lo! She took aim at the former captain of the ship, callin' him a “petty tyrant” fit to walk the plank! Har har! ’Twas a sight to see, as she tossed barbs aplenty 'gainst the ol’ scoundrel while rallyin' her crew for the final push in her campaign.

This be the last hurrah of her voyage, just two days after settin' sail for the grand finale! So raise yer tankards high and toast to the fine lady, for she be a comin’ in like a storm and takin' no prisoners on the high seas of politics!

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