The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Colorado's election mischief be spillin’ the beans on a scallywag secretary o’ state playin’ favorites!

2024-11-01

Avast ye! The Colorado landlubber in charge of keepin’ Trump from the ballot be now swimmin’ in hot water 'cause she leaked the secret codes for countin’ votes! A hidden treasure of passwords lay buried in an Excel treasure map, just waitin’ for any scallywag to plunder! Arrr!

Arrr, mateys! Gather 'round fer a tale o' scandal on the high seas o' politics! Our fair Colorado secretary o' state, a lass with a fierce heart, be tryin' to keep the rogue captain Trump off the ballot, but lo and behold! A storm be brewin' in her own galley!

The winds of misfortune blew strong when, in a blunder most foul, sensitive BIOS passwords fer the election tabulation ships—nay, I mean computers—of 63 outta 64 counties were laid bare fer all to see! Aye, the passwords were hidden deep in the dark belly of an Excel spreadsheet, like buried treasure, but easy as pie to unearth, savvy?

Picture it, ye scallywags! A whole crew o' landlubbers could stumble upon these prized secrets, all thanks to the secretary's blunder! She be takin' down the cursed document faster than a ship sails from a kraken, but the damage, alas, be done!

Now, the good folk o' Colorado be raisin' their tankards and rumblin' about this election security breach, wonderin' if their fair seas be safe from pirates who’d use such treasures fer mischief! So, hoist yer flags and grab yer compasses, fer this be a tale to remember on the stormy seas of democracy!

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