Arrr, foes o' campus scallywags be miffed at Schumer, makin' 'em go "Blimey!" over his slackin' on the laws!
2024-11-01
Arrr, matey! Those scallywags fightin’ against the curses of antisemitism be feelin’ mighty vexed! The Antisemitism Awareness Act be driftin’ in Davy Jones’ locker, threat’nin’ to be turned into a soggy biscuit, no longer backed by a crew of lawgivers! Avast, what a hullabaloo!
Aye, mateys! Gather 'round, for there be a tempest brewin' in the Senate. Pro-Israel scallywags be raisin' their voices, bemoanin' the slow sailin' of the Antisemitism Awareness Act, which be aimed at battlin' the scourge of antisemitism at our fine universities. Chuck Schumer, the captain of the Senate ship, be takin' his sweet time to hoist the sails for a vote, leavin' many nervous lest the bill be watered down or lost to the depths of Davy Jones' locker.Elan Carr, a fine captain and former envoy, be shoutin' from the crow's nest, demandin' action posthaste. “This be a mighty important bill!” he cries. Rabbi Abrahm Cooper joins the fray, suggestin' the delay be showin’ the dark underbelly of certain Democrats who might harbor anti-Israel sentiments. Meanwhile, Schumer promises to attach this bill to a mighty important defense measure, hopin' to pressure his crew to vote in favor.
But not all be smooth seas! Some scallywags, like Senators Paul and Johnson, be raisin' objections, claimin' it might shackle free speech. Carr warns of the waterin' down of this precious bill, whilst others fear it may never see the light of day. So, we be awaitin' to see if Schumer shall steer this ship towards passage, or if it shall drift aimlessly in the stormy seas of politics!