Arrr, SEC Captain Sankey be yellin’, “Cease yer shenanigans with them fakin' injuries, ye scallywags!”
2024-11-02
Arrr, mateys! SEC Cap'n Greg Sankey be warnin' ye scallywags to cease all trickery o’ fakin’ injuries fer a breather. No more playin’ the limpin' buccaneer! Or ye be walkin' the plank, savvy?
Arrr mateys! It seems the SEC be settin' sail on a new course, for they be weary o' players droppin' like flies and feignin' injuries to halt the game clock. Commissioner Greg Sankey penned a missive to all the landlubber coaches and athletic directors, demandin' they cease this shenaniganry forthwith!“Play football, ye scallywags, and cut the theatrics!” he declared, likin’ it to a captain who’s had enough of his crew’s nonsense. The new rules be harsher than a stormy sea; if yer crew is caught usin' tricks, the head coach be lookin’ at a public scoldin’ and a fine that starts at fifty doubloons, climbin' to one hundred on the second offense. And if ye be so bold as to try it a third time, the captain might find himself walkin' the plank for a game!
Even the players can find themselves in hot water if they be caught playin' the part of the wounded sailor. Only if a proper doctor’s note be produced can they escape the clutches of punishment! So, heed this warning, ye teams of the SEC: no more fake injuries or ye’ll be walkin’ the plank into the shark-infested waters of penalties! Arrr!