Ahoy! I be Dan Osborn, seekin' Nebraska's treasure o' votes fer the Senate, ye scallywags! Arrr!
2024-11-02
Arrr, me hearties! I ain't on the parchment 'cause of no fancy political crew – nay! 'Twas the good folk of Nebraska from all 93 corners who penned their names, givin' me the chance to sail for the Senate! Raise yer grog to the people!
Ahoy mateys o' Nebraska! Gather 'round as I spin ye a tale of woe and deceit! The good folks be strugglin' as costs rise like a ship's sails in a storm, while career politicians be fillin' their coffers, forgettin' the common folk. Aye, the U.S. Senate be naught but a lavish club for the wealthy, who don’t know the sweat o' honest labor!I, a sea-farin' sailor turned factory worker, have worked me fingers to the bone to feed me kin. Yet, while I toil, me opponent, Captain Deb Fischer, grows rich as a treasure chest, forgettin' the landlubbers she swore to serve! She’s been sailin' with the wrong crew, causin' our national debt to swell like a blubberin' whale! And when it came to lendin' a hand to our farmers, she left ‘em high and dry!
Then she betrayed us again, votin' against a plan to bolster our borders. The scallywag would rather heed the call of her corporate overlords than protect our shores! She’s as slippery as a fish and just as trustworthy. Promised to be a two-term sailor, yet here she be, tacklin’ a third term with no shame!
But be ye warned, I’ve got the wind at me back! I’ll not be bought by the likes of her nor her corporate mates. I stand for the hearty folk of Nebraska, the true crew that deserves a captain who actually listens and fights for ‘em! So hoist the flag of change, for a new dawn be risin' upon the horizon!