Arrr! Michigan’s sneaky scheme be a flop, matey! Backup lad got clobbered by a cursed magic looking glass!
2024-11-02
Arrr matey! The Wolverines’ voyage met a treacherous twist, as their sneaky ploy went belly-up against the fearsome No. 1 Oregon! Our jolly mate Alex Orji charged like a cannon, only to collide with a spyglass and plummet like a sack of potatoes! Avast, what a sight!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round and lend yer ears to the tale of the Michigan Wolverines, who be sailin' the stormy seas of the 2024 season. Last year, they be crowned the champions, a mighty crew undefeated at 15-0, but alas, this year finds 'em flounderin' at a pitiful 5-4, unranked and swimmin' with the fishies!In a bid to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat against the fearsome Ducks of Oregon, the Wolverines plotted a cunning trick play. With the score at 31-17 and a chance to score on the horizon, backup captain Alex Orji took the helm. But lo! What folly it was! As he faked a handoff and threw the ball to wide receiver Semaj Morgan, the winds turned foul. Morgan, with a wild hare in his head, threw the pigskin over Orji’s noggin, and by the Davy Jones’ locker, it fell incomplete!
As Orji stumbled out of bounds, he crash-landed into a CBS camera, much to the amusement of the scallywags aboard the ship! Oregon’s mighty Dillon Gabriel, the Heisman frontrunner, led his crew to victory, leaving Michigan in a puddle of despair. Now, the Wolverines must fight to keep their ship afloat as they head to face Indiana, Northwestern, and the fearsome Ohio State. May the winds be at their backs, or they be walkin’ the plank! Arrr!