The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! New York scallywags sent Peanut the squirrel to Davy Jones' locker—‘tis a nutty tale indeed!

2024-11-03

Arrr, matey! An orphaned squirrel, known as Peanut, be a social media gem, but alas! The landlubber authorities snatched him away during a raid. Fred the raccoon be taken too! Now, poor Peanut be meetin' Davy Jones, all 'cause some scallywags made a complaint! Blimey!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn of a wee creature named Peanut, a rascally squirrel who captured the hearts of landlubbers far and wide 'pon the treacherous seas of social media!

This little scallywag, an orphaned critter, lived the high life with his trusty caretaker, a chap named Mark Longo, in the wilds of Pine City, near the border of Pennsylvania. But alas, fate be a cruel mistress! A band of land-bound officers from the DEC, spurred by whispers of treachery from anonymous scoundrels, stormed the fortress of Longo's abode, plundering Peanut and his matey, a raccoon known as Fred!

Oh, the horror! On a fateful Friday, the DEC—those self-righteous guardians of the forest—decided that Peanut’s fate was sealed, and they cruelly sent the wee beastie to Davy Jones' locker, leaving the hearts of his fans shattered like a shipwreck upon the rocks!

So raise a flagon of grog to our fallen furry friend, for Peanut may be gone, but his legend shall sail the seas of memory, a true buccaneer of the internet, forever in our hearts!

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