The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Seas and lands be a-chatterin' 'bout Trump’s election spoils, like a parrot with a belly full o’ rum!"

2024-11-06

Arrr, me hearties! Captain Trump be swearin’ to flip the sails o' America’s friendships, both fair and foul! He claims he’ll end the Ukraine fray in the blink o’ an eye, raise the doubloons on imports, and send a fleet to toss millions overboard! Blimey!

Ahoy, ye scallywags! Gather ‘round as I weave ye a yarn of one Donald J. Trump, a landlubber who be claimin’ he’ll turn the good ol’ U.S. of A. upside down like a ship in a storm!

This swashbuckler be promising to mend the bonds with mates and foes alike, a tricky business indeed! He be shoutin’ from the crow’s nest that he’ll finish the ruckus in Ukraine in but a day’s time! Aye, if only it were as easy as plunderin’ a merchant ship!

But that ain’t all, me hearties! This captain of controversy also be raisin’ them tariffs higher than the sails on a galleon! What be a tariff, ye ask? ‘Tis the coin ye pay for goods, makin’ it harder for the common folk to fill their bellies with rum and grub!

And as if that ain’t enough to make the bilge rats scurry, he be talkin’ of tossin’ millions o’ folks overboard, back to where they came from! Aye, that’d be a stormy sea to navigate, indeed! So, hoist the Jolly Roger and watch this tale unfold, for the seas of politics be as wild as a tempest!

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