The Booty Report

"Arrr, slimmin’ yer belly may just keep yer treasure chest from droppin’ to Davy Jones' locker!"

2024-11-06

Arrr, me hearties! Aye, if ye be sportin' a belly as round as a cannonball, ye be at a 50% greater chance o' yer pelvic treasures takin' a dive! So, mind yer provisions, lest ye find yerself in a jolly pickle! Yarrr!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round while I spin ye a yarn about the bloomin’ belly and its dastardly deeds! Ye see, it be found that a portly paunch, that central obesity, be causin' all sorts of trouble fer the fair maidens of our seas. Aye, it’s said that when a lass be sportin' a belly as round as a cannonball, her risk of sufferin' from pelvic organ prolapse be risin' by a staggering 50%! Blimey, that’s more than a treasure map leads to gold!

Now, don’t be thinkin’ it’s just the size of one’s backside that counts! Nay, ‘tis not just the number on the scales that matters, but that bulgin’ middle that be the true culprit! So, whether ye be puffed up like a blowfish or just a wee bit round, beware the consequences! Ye might find yerself in a spot o’ bother, gaspin’ like a fish outta water!

So, let it be known across the seven seas: Keep yer bellies in check, or ye may find yerself with more than ye bargained for! And remember, mateys, a hearty laugh and a brisk sea breeze be the best medicine fer what ails ye. Arrr, now raise the rum and let’s celebrate our fine, flat ships and the lasses who sail upon 'em!

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