The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Trump be callin' the champ Bryson to the stage, like a parrot on a treasure chest, savvy?

2024-11-06

Arrr! Bryson DeChambeau, that scallywag of a golfer, be summoned to the stage by the Trumpster himself at his Florida lair, all celebratin' like a parrot on a treasure chest, during his grand victory speech on the morn of Wednesday. Yarr, what a jolly spectacle!

Ahoy mateys! Gather ye round as I spin ye a yarn o' President-elect Trump givin' a grand shoutout to the mighty Bryson DeChambeau, a fine champion o' the U.S. Open, at the Trump Headquarters in the sunny lands of West Palm Beach! Early mornin', it was, and Trump, all puffed up like a proud peacock, gathered the crew and spoke o' DeChambeau’s triumph, jestin' that the lad hits the ball longer than he, which be sayin' somethin'!

With a cap sportin’ the legend “Make America Great Again,” DeChambeau strutted on stage, though the lad didn’t utter a peep, nothin' but a humble nod to the crowd. This be a fine day indeed, as Trump lauded the champion for his fantastic U.S. Open escapade, invitin’ him to join the festivities.

Back in July, DeChambeau had the former captain of the ship, Trump, on his YouTube channel for a round o' golf, aim’n to raise doubloons for the Wounded Warrior Project. The video be gainin' traction, with over 12 million scallywags viewin' it! DeChambeau claims no regrets, focusin' not on politics but on entertainin' his mates. Aye, the seas o' sports be full of surprises!

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