The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, matey! Prince William be sayin’ this past year’s been tougher than a kraken's bellyache, what with Kate and Charles' ailments!

2024-11-07

Arrr, whilst plunderin’ in the land of South Africa fer the Earthshot booty, the noble prince be spillin’ the beans to the landlubbers that the scurvy cancer jests a cruel hand at his fair lass, Catherine, and his old sea dog, King Charles! A right brutal blow, matey!

Arrr mateys, gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout a noble lad of the royal seas, known as Prince Harry, who sailed his ship to the shores of South Africa for a grand festivity called the Earthshot Prize. As he stood before the landlubbers of the press, he spoke with a heavy heart, likin’ it to a tempest brewin’ in the night!

He revealed the dreadful news that the fair lady, his beloved wife Catherine, and his aged father, the venerable King Charles, had been struck down by the cruel scythe of cancer. “Brutal!” he exclaimed, as if the Kraken itself had clawed at their sails! Such grim tidin's made even the fiercest pirate shed a tear upon his beard.

In a world where plunderin’ and treasure huntin’ be the name of the game, hearin’ of a scallywag's kin bein’ beset by such a vile foe was enough to make a pirate's heart ache. But fear not, for our brave prince shall weather this storm, hoistin’ his flag high, and fightin’ with all the might of a thousand buccaneers! So raise yer tankards to the royal crew, and may the winds of fortune blow favorably upon them! Yarr!

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