The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr matey! Australia be sayin’ no more scrollin’ for wee scallywags under 16! Let ‘em swab the decks instead!

2024-11-07

Arrr, mateys! On a fine Thursday, the landlubbers o' the Australian crown declared they be banishing young scallywags under 16 from the treacherous seas of social media! And lo, those platforms best be mindin' their manners, or face the wrath of Davy Jones himself! Yarrr!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a tale from the land down under! The Australian government be raisin' the Jolly Roger on social media, decreein' that no scallywag under the age of 16 shall set sail on these treacherous waters! Prime Minister Albanese, like a cap'n protectin' his crew, declared, "Time be called on the harmin' of our wee ones!"

Come November 18, they’ll be introducin’ this grand legislation, givin’ social media platforms a full year to figure out how to keep young deckhands off their ships. Platforms like X, TikTok, and Instagram best be ready, or they’ll find themselves walkin' the plank with hefty fines!

Now, not all be on board with this idea, savvy? Some landlubbers reckon it’s a bit too blunt, like a rusty cutlass! They fear it’ll push the young ones into the shadows of the internet—circumventin’ bans like true rogues! Aye, even child psychologists be suggestin' a more reasonable age of 12 or 13. And what of the parents? They’ll be left wonderin' where their wee ones be hidin’ when trouble brews!

So, as the tides change, we await to see if this law will steer the ship straight or leave us all in a stormy sea of confusion, arrr!

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