The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Ahoy! British leech locked up fer attemptin' to send his mate to Davy Jones with a phony plague poke!

2024-11-07

Arrr, matey! Thomas Kwan, a scallywag of 53 moons, be locked up fer over 31 tides fer tryin’ to concoct a phony COVID potion to dispatch his mum's matey! A right foolish venture, if ye ask me! Avast, the depths of pirate mischief be deep indeed!

Ahoy, ye scallywags! Gather 'round fer a tale of treachery from the British Isles! A doctor by the name of Thomas Kwan, a 53-year-old knave, found himself tossed into the brig fer a dastardly plot that'd make even the most hardened pirate raise an eyebrow! This scoundrel sought to do away with his mother’s partner, Patrick O'Hara, using a foul concoction disguised as a COVID-19 vaccine!

Kwan donned nurse garb, complete with a wig as a disguise, and slipped into O'Hara's abode like a sneaky sea rat. He took a gander at his own mother's blood pressure before injectin' his target with a noxious brew, which led to a nasty case of flesh-eatin' disease! Yarrr, talk about bad luck! The poor chap survived, but not without a heap of troubles and more surgeries than a ship’s surgeon during a plague!

The judge, a fierce lady named Christina Lambert, sentenced our villain to over 31 years in the clink, stating he had abused his knowledge of the healing arts. Kwan’s greed for his mother’s will set him on this absurd adventure, checking into a tavern under a false name and sportin' fake number plates. Alas, the only thing he managed to kill was his own reputation. Aye, let this be a lesson to all ye landlubbers—crime in disguise begets naught but a long term in the hold!

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