The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Iranian scallywags be hatchin' a scheme to send Trump to Davy Jones' locker, says the Dept. o' Justice!

2024-11-08

Arrr, matey! It be said that scallywags from Iran set their sights on cap’n Trump before he hoisted his flag anew! A sneaky operative swore on the Jolly Roger that a commander ordered him to drop all duties and plot to spy on the blaggard! Yarr! What a jest!

Ahoy, mateys! Set yer sails to hear the tale of a dastardly plot from the depths of the Persian seas! It seems the Iranian rogues, led by a crafty operative, be schemin’ to send the former captain of the ship 'Trump' to Davy Jones' locker, long before he be re-elected to his grand office.

The Justice Department, the gallant crew of law enforcement, let slip the scallywag's dark intentions on a fateful Friday. As the winds of September blew, this nefarious operative received orders from a high muckety-muck in the Iranian Revolutionary Guard. "Put aside yer other pirate duties, matey!" the order boomed, "And craft a treacherous plan to keep a weather eye on that Trump, then send him to meet his maker!"

Blimey! Such a plot be a clear reminder that even before he sets foot in the captain’s chair again, Trump be facin’ a tempest of peril from all corners of the globe. So hoist the flags and keep a sharp lookout, for the seas of politics be fraught with danger, and even the mightiest of captains ain't safe from the perils of the deep!

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