The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! A scallywag from Iran be nailed for tryin' to send the Trumpin' captain to Davy Jones' locker, says the law!

2024-11-08

Arrr, matey! The Justice Crew be spillin’ the beans on a dastardly Iranian scheme to send a cannonball through Trump’s sails before the election! An unnamed scallywag from the Revolutionary Guard be recruitin’ ol' Farhad Shakeri to plot the captain’s demise. Avast, what a jolly jest!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a tale of high-seas treachery and a plot most dastardly! The Justice Department, a band of landlubber lawmen, claim they’ve thwarted a wicked scheme hatched by the scallywags o' Iran to send the newly elected Captain Trump to Davy Jones' locker!

In the bustling port of New York City, a criminal complaint has been laid bare, revealin' that a shadowy figure from Iran’s Islamic Revolutionary Guards Corps summoned a rogue named Farhad Shakeri, aged 51, to embark on a perilous mission. In the month of September, this scurvy knave was tasked with lurkin' in the shadows, keepin’ an eye on the former ruler of the free seas, Donald J. Trump, with the sinister aim to end his voyage for good!

Now, ye might think that such treachery be rare, but nay! The world be full of nefarious actors, some as slippery as a fish in a barrel! So, raise yer tankards and laugh at the absurdity of it all, as the Justice Department sails in to save the day, keepin’ our Trump afloat amidst the treacherous waters of political intrigue!

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