The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr, matey! Iranian scallywags be schemin' to send Captain Trump to Davy Jones, say the salty sea lawyers!"

2024-11-08

Ahoy, mateys! On the high seas of Manhattan, them federal scallywags be blabberin’ ‘bout a crew of Iranians schemin’ to send Captain Trump to Davy Jones’ locker before he sails for re-election. A swab claimed he was sent by the Guards to spy, settin’ aside his other mischief! Arrr!

Avast ye landlubbers! Gather 'round, fer I be bringin' ye news from the treacherous waters of Manhattan, where the federal prosecutors be singin' a salty tale o' plotters hailing from the land of Persia! Aye, 'tis true, these scallywags be hatchin' a nefarious scheme to take down none other than the notorious Donald J. Trump, before he could hoist his flag for another term as captain o' the good ship White House!

In their court papers, the prosecutors be spillin' the beans on one particular rogue who, in the month o' September, received word from the fearsome Islamic Revolutionary Guards Corps to abandon his other mischief and set his sights on surveillin' the orange captain himself. Blimey! What a jolly jest! These swabs be thinkin' they could execute such a dastardly deed whilst slippin' through the shadows like a sneaky bilge rat!

So, as the winds blow and the tides turn, let us raise our tankards and toast to the absurdity of it all! Pirates and plotters alike, beware! For in this grand game o' thrones, ye never know who might be lurkin' behind the barrels, ready to strike! Arrr!

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