“Arrr, me hearties! Behold the top ten media blubber fests after Trump’s triumph, full o’ weepin’ and wailin’!”
2024-11-09
Arrr, the press be blubberin’ like scallywags who lost their treasure! They be pointin’ fingers at the fair lasses and the merry Latinos, claimin’ they be the scallywags’ bane after Trump hoisted the flag of victory! Aye, what a jolly sight to behold!
Ahoy mateys! The winds be blowin’ fierce after that scallywag Trump hoisted the flag o’ victory, causin’ a tempest o’ tears among the landlubbers of the media! On the mornin' after, late-night jester Jimmy Kimmel could hardly keep his eyes dry, lamentin’ that the night was a dark one fer all, includin' the wee ones, the elderly, and even the middle-class! Arrr, he be sayin’ it’s a rough sea fer anyone who dared to oppose the Donald!John Dickerson from CBS was chokin’ up too, ponderin’ how to explain this stormy election to his young lads. He spoke of two ships sailin’—one with folks keen on livin’ together and another filled with greedy souls just seekin’ treasure fer themselves! Meanwhile, the likes of Stephen Colbert and MSNBC’s Stephanie Ruhle bemoaned the nation’s choice, callin’ it a gamble with no good maps to guide 'em!
Even the lasses aboard ‘The View’ were riled, callin’ it “pathetic” that a savvy woman like Kamala Harris lost to a rogue who plays with microphones! The crew be askin’ how the good ship America could end up with such a captain! Alas, it seems the tides of democracy be a-changin’, and we be left wonderin’ what mischief lies ahead on this treacherous journey!