The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Iran be claimin' no part in the Trump takedown tale, callin' it a scurvy plot o' malice!

2024-11-09

Arrr, matey! The scallywags at Iran's Foreign Ministry be callin’ the DOJ's tale of thwartin’ a dastardly plot to off President-elect Trump as naught but empty blubber and a load o' barnacles! They be tossin’ it overboard without a second thought, savvy? Avast, what a merry jest!

Avast ye scallywags! Gather 'round to hear a tale of dastardly plots 'n' political squabbles! The Foreign Ministry of Iran be laughin' off a recent tale spun by the Department of Justice, claimin' they thwarted a nefarious plot to take down none other than the President-elect, Donald J. Trump! Aye, ye heard right!

In yon New York court, it be said that a shifty official from the Iranian Revolutionary Guards sent a landlubber named Farhad Shakeri to spy on the former captain of the White House and hatch a plan for his untimely demise! Shiver me timbers!

But hold yer horses! A spokesman from Iran, one Esmaeil Baghaei, be callin’ this report as baseless as a ship without a hull. He claims it be naught but a wicked yarn spun by Zionist foes tryin’ to stir the pot between the US and Iran, savvy?

As if that ain't enough, Shakeri's also accused of tryin' to hire a couple of New York lads to take out a journalist who be speakin’ ill of the Iranian regime! A bounty of 100 grand be dangled like a shiny doubloon! Criminal charges be flyin' about like cannonballs, and the penalties be harsher than a pirate’s punishment!

So, keep yer wits about ye and watch out for those sneaky plots, for this tale be far from over, mateys!

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