The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Cornell be pullin’ a crafty ruse with a fake punt, sailin’ to a 74-yard treasure 'gainst Penn!

2024-11-09

Arrr, matey! In the grand skirmish 'twixt Cornell and Penn, a hearty 110 points were plundered! The ruckus began with a tricksy punt, sailing 74 yards straight to Davy Jones’ locker, claimin’ a touchdown! Aye, what a fine jest on the high seas o’ football!

Ahoy mateys! Gather round to hear a tale from the gridiron, where the cunning crew of Cornell be swabbin' the deck with their Ivy League rivals, Penn. The game be afoot, and Cornell, with a lead of 14-7, decided to pull a trick from their treasure chest of plays!

On a fateful 4th and 8, instead of sendin' the ball to the punter like a good ship's crew would, they snapped it to Robert Tucker, a sly sea dog on the protect team. The punter played the part of a jester, actin' as if the ball had sailed over his noggin! Tucker seized the moment, dashin' through a gaping hole in the line and scampered away, like a scallywag with a chest of gold.

With a swift juke, he put one foe on his backside whilst his mate cleared another, carryin' the pigskin a mighty 74 yards to the end zone—21-7, Cornell bearin' down on Penn!

But lo! Penn wasn’t to be trifled with; they struck back like a cannon blast, outscorin' Cornell 60-28 thereafter, with a barrage of touchdowns! Aye, a clever ruse may light the fire, but a full broadside sank the ship. So it goes, in the wild seas of football! Arrr!

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