"Avast! A hat from yon crime scene be helpin' the landlubbers solve a centuries-old murder of a wayward lass!"
2024-11-10
Arrr, matey! The scallywags at Dunn County be shoutin’ that old sea dog Jon Miller, aged 84, be charged for the foul deed of 1974, takin’ the life of fair Mary K. Schlais! They be usin’ the sorcery of DNA to catch this swab! Avast!
Arrr mateys, gather 'round fer a tale most peculiar! A scallywag by the name o' Jon K. Miller, aged 84 winters, has been shackled by the long arm o' the law, accused of puttin' an end to a fair lass, Mary K. Schlais, some 50 years ago! The pirate patrol, known as the Dunn County Sheriff's Office, declared this triumphant capture on a fine Thursday mornin'.Ye see, young Mary, a spirited artist, was hitchin' her way from Minneapolis to an art shindig in Chicago when the foul deed occurred. Her lifeless body was found near some cursed crossroads in Dunn County. An eyewitness had spied a suspect and his ship — I mean, vehicle — which later led the investigators on a grand treasure hunt through the murky waters of time.
Thanks to the magical art o' DNA testing and a hat from the crime scene, they caught the old sea dog, who, when cornered, confessed quicker than a gull snatchin' a fish! Sheriff Bygd, with a twinkle in his eye, remarked that this burden had surely been weighin' heavy on Miller's conscience these many moons. Alas, the world of hitchhikin' be not as safe as it once was, and young Mary’s bright future was snuffed out like a candle in a storm, forever changin' the tides of her journey.