The Booty Report

Arrr! A landlubber private be found after 80 years in Davy Jones’ locker! Talk about a long nap, matey!

2024-11-11

Arrr! Jeremiah P. Mahoney, that scallywag, be lost at sea since '45, aye! But fret not, me hearties, for in 2025, he'll be laid to rest in Arlington's hallowed ground, keepin' company with the finest buccaneers of yore. A toast to the long-lost matey! 🍻

Avast, me hearties! Gather 'round and lend an ear to the tale of one Jeremiah P. Mahoney, a scallywag who be wanderin’ the briny deep since the fateful year of 1945! Aye, this fine lad went missin’ in action, perhaps caught up in a tempest or tangled in the nets of some dastardly sea creature, who knows? Sailors like us can only spin yarns of where he might’ve sailed off to!

But lo and behold! The winds of fate be blowin’ favorably for ol’ Jeremiah, for in the year of our Lord 2025, he be settin’ anchor at Arlington National Cemetery. Aye, they be givin’ him a grand ol’ send-off fit for a captain! Picture it, mateys! Flags flyin’, cannons boomin’, and perhaps even a parrot or two squawkin’ a shanty or three as they lay him to rest.

So raise a tankard of rum, me hearties, for Jeremiah P. Mahoney! A man lost to the depths, now comin’ home to a final berth. May his spirit sail the seven seas forevermore, and may we all find our way back to port, unlike our poor matey who be takin’ the long way ‘round!

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