The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Ahoy! A layabout coach from San Jose be causin' a ruckus 'bout lassies' sports, and the seas be a-churnin'!"

2024-11-11

Arrr! The fine lass Melissa Batie-Smoose, second-in-command o’ the San Jose State volleyball crew, be raisin’ the Jolly Roger ‘gainst the foul storms besiegin’ women’s sports. Yarr, she be callin’ for a fair wind to set sail for equality, lest we all be marooned in the depths of despair!

Arrr, mateys! Gather round fer a tale from the treacherous seas o’ women’s volleyball, where chaos be brewin’ at San Jose State! The fierce lass Melissa Batie-Smoose, the associate head coach, be soundin’ the alarm ‘bout transgender inclusion in the sport, all whilst findin’ herself in a pickle o’ controversy!

She be suspended indefinitely after raisin’ a ruckus with a Title IX complaint, accusin’ the team’s transgender player, Blaire Fleming, of conspiring with foes to sink their ship, lettin’ 'em lose an important match and injurin’ a fellow crewmate, Brooke Slusser. Aye, the coach be shoutin’ to the skies that women’s safety be at risk, and fair play be walkin’ the plank!

Now, San Jose State be keepin’ mum on the matter, sayin’ the associate head coach be outta the crew, and no further details be forthcoming. Batie-Smoose be lamentin’ that she was told to silence her tongue, claimin’ that the powers that be be tryin’ to shush those who stand up for women’s rights on the pitch! It be a tempest of a season, with five opponents already surrenderin’ to avoid the storm!

As the Mountain West Conference tournament approaches, the Spartans be at 11-5—will they weather the storm or be lost at sea? Arrr, only the wind knows!

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