The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Avast! Lawmen be scourin' for a scallywag from Long Island, claimin' he shivved his own old sea dog!"

2024-11-11

Avast ye, mateys! A grand chase be afoot on Long Island fer scallywag young Matthew Zoll, who, it be said, took a knife to his own old sea dog father in their humble abode on the morn of Saturday! Arrr, what a family squabble!

Arrr mateys! Gather ‘round fer a tale most grim from the shores of Long Island! A 23-year-old scallywag by the name of Matthew Zoll be on the run after accusin’ himself o’ givin’ his own father, the fine seafarer Joseph Zoll, a one-way ticket to Davy Jones’ locker! Aye, twas a stabbin’ that took place in their humble abode on a dark Saturday mornin’!

The Suffolk County brutes be searchin’ high and low for this lad, and they be seekin’ the help o’ the good folk. They be describin’ young Matthew as a tall drink o’ water, standin’ 6 feet 1 inch and weighin’ a mere 150 pounds, with brown locks and eyes as murky as the dark sea. But beware, he bears a small scar under his left eye, likely from a raucous night o' rum and mischief!

As fer a reason fer this dastardly deed, the coppers remain tight-lipped like a clam in a storm. So, if ye spy this wayward soul wanderin’ about, don’t keep it to yerself, call the Homicide Squad and earn yer keep! The winds be blowin’ foul, and it’s a tangled web we weave in this tale of betrayal, murder, and a son with a heart as dark as the depths below!

Read the Original Article