The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Mike Tyson be sayin’ there be a grand gulf 'twixt him and that scallywag Jake Paul, savvy?

2024-11-12

Arrr, matey! Mike Tyson be feelin' mighty certain 'bout the one grand "fundamental difference" 'twixt him and that scallywag Jake Paul as he readies fer their raucous duel this weekend! Methinks it be more than just a matter o' fist size, savvy?

Avast, ye scallywags! The grand clash betwixt the YouTube rapscallion Jake Paul and the legendary Mike Tyson be settin' sail this week in the heart of Texas, no less! Gather ye 'round for a spectacle o' seven fisticuffs at the mighty AT&T Stadium!

In the days leadin' up to this raucous duel, Netflix be servin' a documentary feast, showin' how these two foes be preparin' for battle. In a mirthful moment, Tyson be laughin' as Paul, after knockin' out Mike Perry, proclaims himself the new face of the sweet science!

“Arrr, there be a mighty difference 'twixt us!” Tyson chuckled. “He be a manufactured killer, crafted by the scallywags of the television. I be a natural-born killer!” And thus, the stage be set for a showdown!

Though Tyson be a spry 58, and Paul a mere lad of 27, Iron Mike's heart yearns for glory like a pirate lustin' for treasure! “I’d rather live a short life of glory than a long life of obscurity,” he be sayin', chasin' status like a wayward sailor chasin' the horizon!

So grab yer popcorn, me hearties! Netflix be showin' this brawl, with the preliminaries startin' at 5:30 p.m. ET, and the main event kickin' off at 8 p.m. ET. Prepare for a night of raucous revelry and fistic fury!

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