Arrr, the Church's captain jumps ship after lettin' a scallywag run amok at camp for years! Blimey, what folly!
2024-11-12
Arrr, matey! Justin Welby, the grand captain o’ the Church o’ England, be walkin' the plank! Turns out he didn’t hoist the flag ‘bout some scallywag’s foul deeds right quick. Now, he’s off to the briny deep! What a jolly mess, eh?
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round fer a right curious tale o' the Archbishop of Canterbury, one Justin Welby, who found himself walkin' the plank o' resignation this Tuesday! Aye, it be revealed that he turned a blind eye to vile acts o' abuse committed by a scallywag volunteer at them Christian summer camps, when he should've alerted the law straightaway. The waves o' public outrage be crashin' down upon him since the inquiry's findings set sail last Thursday!With naught but a heavy heart, Welby declared, “I must take me share o' the blame for the treacherous tide of trauma that wrecked between 2013 and 2024.” He swore to step aside for the sake o' the Church of England, which he claims to hold dearer than a chest o' gold doubloons. Even the good Bishop o' Newcastle declared his position “untenable,” while a petition swirled like a tempest, demandin' his head!
Victims o' the notorious John Smyth, who terrorized lads across continents, cried out for justice, hopin' Welby's departure might mend the ship's broken hull. Alas, the Church be a place where abusers found refuge, hidin' behind their collars while the innocent suffered! So, Welby be cast into the sea of history, navigatin' a course for redemption! Arrr, what a fine spectacle of scandal upon the high seas of faith!