The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Joe Schoen be sayin', "Don’t blame the scallywag Jones fer the ship’s leaks! Aye, it takes a crew!"

2024-11-12

Arrr, mateys! Captain Schoen be dodgin' the blame cannon on poor Jones, sayin' the crew's 2-8 plight ain't just on one scallywag! Aye, even the finest ship can sink with a leaky hull—so let’s not hang the lad for this stormy voyage!

Arrr matey! The New York Giants be sailin’ into their bye week, battered and bruised with a dismal 2-8 record, tied for the worst in all of the NFL seas. Cap’n Joe Schoen, the grand GM, be speakin’ to the crew of reporters, ponderin’ the fate of their struggling quarterback, Daniel Jones, who be sinkin’ faster than a ship with a hole in the hull!

Since sign’n his mighty fine four-year, $160 million treasure, Jones be flounderin’ with a 3-13 record as captain of the ship. Fans be howlin’ for a change! Schoen be tellin’ all hands on deck that every position will be under scrutiny during the bye week, but alas, he pointed no fingers at the poor quarterback, sayin’ the blame be shared like a good grog among the crew.

The offense be as lifeless as a parrot with no crackers, sittin’ at the bottom of the league for points per game! Jones be throwin’ interceptions like cannonballs, missin’ open mates on the field. With a decision on Jones loom’n over the horizon, and a hefty price tag if they be partin’ ways, Giants fans be left wonderin’ if they’ll ever catch the wind in their sails again! Avast, let’s hope for smoother seas ahead!

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