The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Turns out Fauci be sittin' on 15 million doubloons in security since he jumped ship! Avast, what a treasure!

2024-11-13

Arrr, matey! It be revealed that ol' Dr. Fauci, once a captain of pesky germs, be sittin' pretty with $15 million in gold doubloons for protection after hangin’ up his boots! The U.S. Marshals be guardin' him like a treasure chest till 2024, savvy?

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I regale ye with a tale of Dr. Anthony Fauci, the esteemed captain o' the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases! This scallywag retired in December of the year 2022, but lo and behold, the treasure chest didn’t close! Nay, instead, it burst forth with a bounty of $15 million in taxpayer doubloons for his security after he hung up his sea boots!

Arrr, ye heard me right! The U.S. Marshals, in a most peculiar agreement with the Health and Human Services crew, decided to keep a watchful eye on ol' Fauci from January 2023 till September 2024. Aye, a protective detail fit for a king, or mayhaps a pirate captain who’s plundered more than his fair share of gold!

This arrangement be unprecedented, me mateys! A former federal swab getting such lavish protection? That’d be like givin’ a parrot a treasure map—aye, it be downright confounding! But fret not, for while we’re out swabbing decks and searching for booty, ol' Fauci be sittin' pretty behind layers of guards, countin’ his gold, and keepin’ safe from any rogue waves of criticism! So raise a mug, and let’s toast to the good doctor and his grand adventure on the high seas of security!

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