The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, matey! The scallywags be squabblin’ fer the Trump ship’s parley voice, like cats fightin’ over a fish!

2024-11-13

Arrr, matey! While Captain Trump be busy gatherin’ his crew, the scallywags for the Press Secretary role be risin’ from the briny deep! Karoline Leavitt, his trusty parrot, and Scott "The Defender" Jennings, a landlubber from CNN, be eyeing the toughest treasure on the ship! Avast!

Avast, me hearties! As the infamous Donald Trump be hoistin' the sails of his Cabinet, a wild tempest brews fer one of the most treacherous positions aboard his grand ship: the Press Secretary! Aye, it be a role fraught with peril, where one must navigate the treacherous waters of the media seas.

Among the scallywags vyin' fer this coveted post be the fair lass Karoline Leavitt, who hath flown the flag of Trump’s words throughout the campaign, like a parrot perched on the shoulder of a feared captain. She be a fierce defender of the man, wieldin' her tongue sharper than a cutlass.

Then there be Scott Jennings, a clever matey known from the cursed realm of CNN, who hath been a stalwart champion of Trump’s cause on their cursed airwaves. This lad be known fer his silver tongue, always ready to parry the jabs and barbs tossed from the rival ships of the media fleet.

So, as the winds blow and the tides shift, keep yer eyes peeled, for the hunt fer the Press Secretary be on! Will it be the crafty Karoline or the wily Scott that captures the golden doubloon of a position in Trump’s crew? Only time will tell, but ye can bet yer last piece of eight it’ll be a sight to behold!

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