The Booty Report

Avast! Lindsey Vonn be raisin' her anchor from retirement, sailin' back to the U.S. Ski crew, arrr!

2024-11-14

Arrr, five moons past, the lass of the slopes bid adieu to her icy quest! But lo! With a shiny new right knee, she be settin’ her sights on conquerin' the World Cup this year, an’ mayhap even makin’ a splash at the 2026 treasure hunt, the Ol’ Olympics!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round and lend yer ears to the tale of a lass who once sailed the icy slopes like a true buccaneer! Five long years ago, this daring American ski racer, known far and wide, did hang up her boots and set aside her trusty skis, for her knee be givin’ her more trouble than a mutinous crew!

But lo and behold! With a shiny new right knee, forged from the finest of pirate treasure, she be steppin' back into the fray! Aye, she be settin’ her sights high on the World Cup circuit, hopin’ to carve her name into the snow once again. With the wind at her back and the taste of adventure in her heart, this fearless wench be ready to take on all who dare challenge her!

And what’s this? Rumors be flyin’ that she’s got her eyes locked on the grandest treasure of all—the 2026 Olympics! So raise yer tankards and give a hearty cheer, for this brave lass be ready to plunder the slopes and claim her glory once more! Whether it be on the snow or in the hearts of her crew, she be a fierce competitor, and we be all watchin’ with bated breath as she sets sail on this new voyage!

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