The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! The Onion be claimin' Alex Jones' Infowars booty in a treasure hunt o' bankruptcy! What a jolly jest!

2024-11-14

Arrr, matey! The Onion, those scallywags of satire, be claimin’ the spoils of Alex Jones’ shipwrecked empire! InfoWars be their prize! Jones be shoutin’ from the crow’s nest that his lawyers be spillin’ the beans on their bankruptcy fate. Avast, what a jolly jape!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn of a scallywag named Alex Jones, a purveyor of wild tales and far-fetched follies! This rogue, known fer blabberin’ on his cursed InfoWars, found himself in a tempest of financial woes and headed straight fer the briny deep o’ bankruptcy!

But lo and behold, the infamous Onion, a band o’ merry jesters skilled in the art of mockery, has hoisted the sails and claimed dominion over Jones' media treasure! Aye, they be takin’ the helm of his ship of conspiracy, plunderin’ the spoils whilst chucklin’ all the way to the bank! Just the other mornin’, Jones be squawkin’ on the X, spillin’ the beans that his legal crew be meetin’ with the U.S. trustee, havin’ a right old chat about his sunken fortunes!

With a hearty laugh, the Onion be settin’ course to steer this ship of folly into new waters, turnin’ Jones’ mad ramblings into jests that even a sea cucumber would guffaw at! So raise yer tankards, me mateys, for the Onion has bested the blusterin’ Jones, and we be all in fer a rollickin’ good time watchin’ the chaos unfold!

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